The Ogres Finger

“I might get hit by a brick or tear gassed every now and again”

The Comeback Special

“Like clubs and children birthday parties, hospital is shit without drugs”

“Quick one – I’m due in surgery in 4 hours to get my ostomy reversed. I will be off my tits on morphine for a few days and I can’t wait”

“I looked like a prostitute getting into a police car”